Attention everyone I have made the tough decision to leave my wife for someone else. Here is a picture of him. His name is Keith, he says he is a real unicorn but I'm not sure if I believe him yet. For starters he hasn't shown me that he can fly yet; WEIRD I know, huh. Hello, it is common knowledge that unicorns can fly! The reason he gave why he couldn't fly is because he ran out of his magical flying dust; I think he called it METH, don't know what it is, never heard of it. Another thing that makes me suspicious is that his horn keeps on falling off, he says it was from a HARD night of playing horns with other unicorns. Oh well, he totally gets me and his dream for us in life is a pasture to frolic in, an endless supply of magic flying dust and Barbara Steisand music being played non stop. Gotta go, Keith says we have a pride parade we gotta go to.
Reasons like this make me wonder, Do we have too much freedom in this country? This guy makes Elton John seem like he's the straightest man in the world.
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